Dear New Hire Lady From This Morning,

(Company names have been changed in hopes of no one I work for finding this letter)

Hi.

I hope you are finding your first day at Bloopbloop Management to be wonderful and inviting.

I have no idea how you found your way in the building this morning, through the door and upstairs to my desk area. Our nifty BlopCorp building managers have issued us badges in order to do both. So first of all, congratulations on hacking our super-tight security.

I'm kidding of course. These badges won't actually save our lives. I'm sure anyone could get in this building at any time, if they really wanted to.

I know you've been here before in order to interview. I know you know BlopCorp owns Bloopbloop Management and I know you are aware that you have to meet with HR on your first day. Now common sense would tell someone who has been here before that the big desk, on the first floor, located right inside the entrance, with a sign above reading "BlopCorp" would be the place to find out where you needed to report for this first day. But since no one was in yet, you decided to go exploring.

I know that I may sit in the middle of a call center, and you are working in a call center, but I think that the giant sign above my head that reads "BleepbloopScout" would give away the fact that I don't work for Bloopbloop Management. Regardless you asked where HR was for BlopCorp and Bloopbloop Management and might I assist you in getting ready to start the day.

I said, "We're BleepbloopScout, I think you need to check in with Melinda (name was changed)at the reception desk."

You asked me the same question, again.

As strange as this may sound, I know nothing about the company you work for because, I don't work for them. So when I tell you that I can't help you why do you ask me again, the same question? When I repeat my answer, you stand there as if I am supposed to assist you and proceed to ask me again how I may help you start your first day and get you checked in. To make matters worse you finally go back downstairs and then send someone else upstairs to ask me to help you.

Lady. I don't work for Bloopbloop Management. I am not BlopCorp's (You know, the corporation that owns both of our companies, just a reminder) HR department. I know it may all seem confusing since all of the companies mentioned in this letter share one building, but that's what corporations are. Big balls of confusion that look pretty on the outside so that no one will see all the ugly on the inside (at least in my opinion).

You will not ever have a first day here again, and that's probably for the best.

Now please enjoy your stay and know that this place will suck the living daylights out of you. So much so, that you will one day write blog posts to anonymous co-workers/building dwellers who make you annoyed on a Monday morning.

Best Regards,

Molly Wilbanks