Give Me Your iPhone.

I have iPhone envy. It's bad. I'm not usually one to covet my neighbor, but for some reason I get seriously jealous every time I see someone with an iPhone. I don't know what it is. It's like some weird iPhone monster that lives inside of me. Must have iPhone. That's what it repeats over and over.



It will be a long time before I'm able to own one. Not only does Verizon have superior service (sorry AT&T subscribers, your life is harder then mine in cellular world) but my monthly phone bill is $5 (thank you family plan + mom's educator discount).

I have been a little nerdy about researching the Blackberry Storm, Verizon and RIM's answer to the iPhone. I've read tons of material on it's release and features trying to figure out if maybe it could calm down the iPhone monster. I really think it would just make me sad because every time I look at it I think, " This is pretending to be an iPhone."

Come on iPhone monster, get a life. I want to be happy for iPhone users. They have an amazing product in their possession. Besides, iPhone's can't solve world hunger. They are not that important.

What if they could solve world hunger? Now that would be something.

New Obsession

Dead Like Me.

I have no idea when this show was first on. It's by the same guy who did Wonderfalls (also a very funny show whose life was cut too short and available on DVD).

I mean, watch the opening credits:



I mean, seriously. Don't you just want to keep watching?

Headlines

From MSNBC.com:

"Priest: No communion for Obama supporters

COLUMBIA, S.C. - A South Carolina Roman Catholic priest has told his parishioners that they should refrain from receiving Holy Communion if they voted for Barack Obama because the Democratic president-elect supports abortion, and supporting him "constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil."

The Rev. Jay Scott Newman said in a letter distributed Sunday to parishioners at St. Mary's Catholic Church in Greenville that they are putting their souls at risk if they take Holy Communion before doing penance for their vote.

"Our nation has chosen for its chief executive the most radical pro-abortion politician ever to serve in the United States Senate or to run for president," Newman wrote, referring to Obama by his full name, including his middle name of Hussein."

That's totally what Jesus would've done...

1 Month Ago...

I blogged. According to Jeff Grigg's handy dandy little blog list that is. I saw that and it made me sad. So I thought, "I'll write a blog." But I have no idea what to write about.

Well, here's something.

I have RCN. I hate RCN. They have terrible service. Sometimes my channels are black and white. Sometimes I have no sound. Sometimes the box freezes. It used to always freeze when I used the OnDemand feature. One time, I called RCN and told them about this issue. Their response was, "Oh yeah, we know. It does that." Awesome.

I recently moved and of course my new place was wired for RCN. I may hate RCN but I'm too lazy to have it all fixed up and Comcasted out. I assume it takes effort. Of course the day they came to set up my cable the cable man left and the cable quit. They could only come out a month later to fix it. Awesome. Even more awesome is that the the cable quit because squirrels had eaten through the outside wires. At least I can't blame RCN for that one.

RCN was gracious enough to not make me pay for the month I was out of service. They gave me a credit. When I got my first bill, the credit didn't show up so I called and they said that the balance on my statement was incorrect and that I only owed a much smaller amount. The next time I got my statement, the amount seemed to high. I called and they again said, "No, your bill is actually for [significantly less amount of money]." I've received another bill that, yet again, I know is not correct. Even on my statement the amount they say I paid previously is not the amount I paid previously. I think it's a scam.

I'm just saying...

Don't ever, EVER use RCN.

I'm A Rock Star

I am not ashamed to say that I love pop music. It's not my favorite but I groove to top 40 just like the rest of you. It's catchy. It's supposed to be.

I love P!nk's new song. I love It. I love the chorus, because when she sings "So What/I'm still a Rock Star/I've Got My Rock Moves" I think to myself, "I am a rock star and I have rock moves, bitches."

That's what I think.

Here's the video...



You will notice she talks about her ex-husband in the song, and yes, that is him, Carey Hart, in the video. I had a crush on Carey Hart once. Only once. During a church camp trip to Panama City Beach, Florida. He's not really that cute...don't know where that brief moment in Molly crush-hood came from but it happened.

I'm also not ashamed of that.

Stuff I Like.

Here are some things I enjoy:

Cherry Coke Zero in a can,

I often refer to this beverage as "Diet Cherry Coke Zero" which drives Dave crazy because it's redundant to say "Diet Cherry Coke Zero". That drives Dave crazy.

My niece Lyndie,

Yeah. She's freakin' adorable.

And Ninja Cat.

I don't always like cats. But I like this one.

Enjoy my enjoyments.

Oh. It's You.

Yeah. I know. It's almost been a whole month and I haven't blogged.

Wellllll, I'm sorry. It's been a ridiculous month.

Ridiculous in a good way.

Here are some highlights:

I became an Aunt.

I signed a paper to acknowledge that I am legally "Molly Wilbanks - Unmarried Woman" in order to purchase my condo. Upon investigation I found out that only a few short years ago the document would have read, "Molly Wilbanks - Spinster." Not kidding. Spinster is apparently a legal term to describe a single female to the bank.

I went to and performed at the Del Close Marathon.

I packed.

I moved.

I, Molly Wilbanks part-time administrative assistant, have been given so many tasks to complete, I now average a 45 hour work week. How is that part-time you ask? If you worked for the company I work for, you would realize they use many terms loosely, like "flexible schedule" and "good for the environment."

I had some shows.

I had some rehearsals.

I want to blog. I do. I just have to get through the month of August....

Lyndie Evelyn Is Here!!!!!!

Welcome to the world Little Lyndie!

My brand new baby niece joined us this morning at 4:53am.

My sister called me at 5:13 this morning to tell me Lyndie was here. I'm amazed that Shauna even wanted to pick up the phone and call. She sounded wonderful. Everything went smoothly and everyone is healthy and normal.

I can't wait to meet you little bug! I love you!

I will have to wait until September to give you a big 'ol baby hug and kiss.

Damn you gas prices for being so high it's impossible to fly home.

Just wait until I get pictures of her...they will be all over this mug.

And by mug, I mean blog. Not my face. That would be weird.

Jump Jump, sir!

I had no idea trampoline was an Olympic sport. Did you? I didn't. So I looked it up on YouTube, naturally.

Here is a video of the 1st place winner in the Finals for the 2004 Athens Olympics.




He jumps so high! Dear Lord!!!

Also, in approx 24 hrs...I will be an Aunt. Yep. Countdown to baby Lyndie is almost over cause baby Lyndie is almost here.

Missy and Rod!

One of my favoritest people in the world is one of my BFF's, Melissa. I also am very fond of her husband Rod. Yep, I like their dog Elvis too.

Missy started a blog!!!!!!!!!!!

So go read it:

Rod and Missy!!

Oh Carrie...

I like Carrie Underwood. I used to hide this fact. But not anymore. I'm not ashamed. Nope.



I own both of her CD's. I like her. I like her despite that fact that my family was bumped from our table a restaurant so she could sit in the back with her friends and not be noticed. I like her despite that fact later that same evening, she knocked our waitress into a table, purely on accident....



I like her. I listen to her a lot when I get homesick. Yes, I'm from Texas but I was not raised on any form of country music. Occasionally there was some Patsy Cline playing...but not very often. I think it's because of my sister. My sister listens to country music. She lives a very small town, way out in East Texas, where there is nothing but tall trees and squirrels.



This week I am especially missing her because she's having a baby!!!! So I've been listening to a lot of Carrie Underwood already, and it's only Monday.



Her due date is August 4th, but the doctor is going to be out of town so she will be having the baby this Friday, August 1st no matter what. Yep. Small enough town to only have 1 baby doctor to deliver babies. Not kidding.



So in honor of Baby Lyndie's big day here is a Carrie Underwood song all about a little baby girl:

Well nevermind. Carrie Underwood doesn't allow the embedding of her music videos from YouTube.

Carrie. Don't lose me know....

Dear Co-Worker,

Good morning. What a pleasure to see you on the bus this morning!

That's called sarcasm.

It was not a pleasure to see you on the bus this morning. Well, it wasn't awful actually seeing you, but the you trying to make conversation thing is where the pleasure ended.

Let me explain.

We talk at work. All the time. You and everyone else gather at my desk to talk about your lives and complaints about work. And at work, that is okay. In fact it's more than okay because one of my job duties is to be your friend. Those are my bosses words.

That friendship ends outside our big metal office doors. It also does not exist before I walk through those big metal doors early in the morning.

I am an actress/improvisor/writer/musician it is hard enough for me to run reports and mess with numbers all day. I need my iPod time in the morning to psych myself up. I don't want to talk to you. It's not personal. Promise.

Well, for some of you it is personal. But that's for another letter.

Regards,
Molly

Some People Have Too Much Time On Their Hands

And to them I say,

Thank you.

Day=Made.

It's early. I am only an hour into my workday, but my day is already complete.

I work near The British School Of Chicago (also near Cabrini Green...woot!). Many a morning I see the childrens in their uniforms walking to school.

On this particular morning a dad and daughter were walking in front of me. They were talking and the little girl was waving her arms wildly and freely. They both began to move a little more excitedly and as they walked, turned to each other and high-fived. Small as that may seem, it may be the sweetest thing I've seen happen in awhile. I was reminded of my dad, (what up Frank!) taking me to school, and how special and awesome it was.

Awwwwwwwwww....

Later on in the walk I passed them from the other side of the street. The dad let the girl walk by herself to the front of the school, and he walked away before the other kids could see him. I'm sure it was because the daughter felt "cooler" that way. In one morning he showed her love AND gave her some independence. That's a special dad.

I miss my dad. When do I get to hug him? Oh yeah...NEXT WEEK!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaay!

Get ready Chicago. Frank and Karen are coming to rock you silly.

Morning Think Time

I do most of my thinking in the morning. I am a certified over-thinker anyway, so the fact that I start out my day thinking generally leads to bad results.

That being said, I made a personal discovery this morning. There is a good chance I've become someone I used to hate (shudder).

I have resigned myself to that fact that I indeed become more and more like my mother as I get older. I can handle it. I like mom. I have also resigned to the fact that I am more sensitive than I would like to admit. Yes, sometimes I tear up over work things that are not personal, they're "business." Yeah. I get upset sometimes at work. Whatevs. Right?

But then this morning, I became the "slider." This I can't deal with.

I used to work at a coffee shop. I would rise every morning at 4:30am and serve coffee to the business people with bad morning breath. Surprsingly, most people do not brush their teeth as well as you think they would in the morning. People were grumpy, smelly, hung-over, sweaty among other gross things but I smiled and didn't really care.

The only thing that used to kill me was the "slider." The "slider" is a person who can't pick up their money from the counter to put it in my hand. They just slide it across, look up at me and smile. They may not seem like a big deal, but it's rude. I actually became aware of the rudeness of this gesture when I absentmindley did it to a customer. Sliding your money across the counter says to the Barista, "I don't want to touch your dirty coffee hands. You're doing me a favor. You can pick up the money yourself."

I "slid" this morning. I was at Intelligensia, and I "slid" my receipt to the cashier, looked up at her and smiled. I saw the hatred of my gesture run through her eyes. I "slid" the receipt and the pen, right at her.

I obviously have been thinking about this since it happened. I feel like a jerk. I can't believe I would do that. I'm sorry Intelligensia lady. I didn't mean it. I totally respect you. I feel for you and your coffee serving duties. I'm sorry. Don't spit in my coffee. Please.

Well...

...even I can do that.

Fafarazzi: It's sick.

I love Fafarazzi.

It's like fantasy baseball, only instead of hoping your player plays well, you hope your celebrity screws up and has a drunken night out with hookers and crack cocaine.

Last year I played, but worked a certain un-named coffee shop, so internet access was limited.

This year I work in an office. At a desk. With internet.

I'm also very excited about my team. It's only the beginning and I sense some trading by the end of the week BUT I have a good feeling about several of my peeps. Check out my roster:

Angelina Jolie
Tom Cruise
Pete Doherty
Victoria Beckham
Kim Kardashian
Brody Jenner
Liv Tyler
Lily Allen
Gwyneth Paltrow
Tony Romo

Not a bad start. It's still too early to tell what will happen, but I'm pumped. Now come Gwyneth, get crazy drunk and throw Liv Tyler from a balcony.

Kidding of course...

Some Tidbits.

Have you ever heard the song 1000 Times by Tahiti 80?

If you haven't you should listen to it. Make sure you listen to it on the train. Why? Because if everyone on the train were to break into dance, that's the song that would play.

Also, organic cleaning products don't work as well as regular ones. They never will. I convince myself that "this time they'll work!" They don't.

Busy Bee...

I have been so busy. And I can't even tell you with what, because I don't remember. I also want to apologize to my screenwriting class for not finishing my screenplay on time.

I'm sorry.

This is the first time in three tries I haven't finished on time. But I will finish.

Now for fun quotes from Molly's calendar:

"The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side." - James Arthur Baldwin

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Anais Nin

And my personal favorite from Avenue Q, which I saw last night with Dave:

"Is her name Purpose?" - Katy Monster

:)

Dear Jeff,

I think you actually enjoyed this. I think you were smiling and thinking how much you love when people sing to you. You were probably also thinking, "someone just took a picture of this. I bet they put it on their blog."

I did.

Regards,
Molly

3 Things I Almost Blogged About This Week

I started writing several blogs this week. Every time I didn't finish. I don't know why persay... This morning I really wanted to blog, but had nothing to blog about. And then I thought...why not blog about what I would have blogged about had I actually written a blog this week.*

Here are 3 things I almost blogged about, but didn't:

1) Bill Kurtis



A fellow coworker and I had a discussion about shows we watch on television which led to a conversation about this guy.

Most know Bill as the voice and host of many a cable TV show such as Cold Case Files on A&E. But did you know there is nothing this man can’t do? He owns a radio station, art gallery, is a conservationist, all while hosting and producing documentaries and being president of a company. Look at him smiling and down to earth on his farm. He makes me feel small, yet powerful.

2) Banksy

Banksy is an artist from the UK. Check out his website.

I. Love. His. Work. Apparently if Banksy tags your building the property value rises. How crazy is that? This one of the many images I love.



You can do it kids. Keep digging!

3) Target

Who doesn't love Target? I wore my favorite Target dress for the second time ever this week, and even the second time people say, "Ooooh, I loooove that dress. Where is it from?" Target. Oh it's from Target. I love Target. Especially SuperTarget.

I encourage all of you to look up these things, and love them as much as I do. If not, that's okay too.

I blogged! I feel better already.

*I really love using the same word multiple times in the same sentence. "Blog" was just used as a noun AND a verb. Now that's fun...

Awkward...

I have to call a special 800 number in order to register new employees with our company.

Today I called that number multiple times and was connected to a sex hotline.

Awesome.

How Jamie Lidell Saved My Sanity...

The past three weeks have been bizarre. Strange, weird things have happened. Some bad, some good, but the only thing constant is that they are all out of the ordinary and strange. Actually some of them are completely ordinary, but the fact that they happened in this three week period makes them feel strange and out of place. Mainly because strange has recently become ordinary. You dig?

As for this week in particular, I've been sick on top of everything I am on my 7th day of dizziness and drainage (yummo people!) and this morning my eye was swollen. Why? Don't know. It's not swollen anymore...

At work on Wednesday...not only did a weird, strange, awkward, thing happen but it was incredibly heartbreaking as well. I don't know that I can really talk about it on a blog, so if you ask me I will tell...but working in HR makes things so. Tricky. And legal...

Everyday I've left work feeling so awful...

Now for the positive.

Everyday I've left work feeling awful, and every day since Tuesday I've put in my iPod and listened to the new Jamie Lidell album, Jim.

And everyday since Tuesday when I've arrived home from work I have been dancing and singing at the top of my lungs.

That CD is real good people. And uplifting. Go buy it. Nooooooooooow.

I found a music video on YouTube of one of the songs off of Jim. It's a great happy popy dancey song. And of course, to keep in theme, the video is quite bizarre.



Now I'm not saying that the past few weeks have been all bad necessarily. They've been good for the most part, just straaaaaaaaaaange. Lets go get drinks this weekend and pretend the last few weeks of bizarre situations and crazy work antics are over and start a new few weeks of awesomeness...

Way to go Mavs...

Way. To. Go.

Don't you realize what the past two weeks have been like for me? Not just in basketball watching, but in other areas of life as well? Don't you know that a win was all I needed to bring things back up again?

I expect Jason Kidd at my office by 3pm to mop up my tears. It's the least you can do.

**Update**

Really? Avery? Really? That's the solution? No. How about trying something else. Damn Mavericks.

Wait, it's not the Players...It's the franchise and the people who run it.

Okay...Their time is almost through. Give us ten years and we will be awesome again....promise.

Hors de prix...

As I mentioned before, I saw two good movies this past weekend. Both were almost worth the price of admission. They would be worth the price of admission if the price of admission weren't $11-$13.00. Let's talk about why people engage in a thing called "piracy." Most of the movies those movie moguls make aren't worth over $5. Come oooooon people...

Now, for the good stuff.

Yes I saw Baby Momma.

I'm going to say it right now, I didn't have high expectations. Sorry guys. Yes, I am a female who participates in the world of comedy, and yes I do love Tina Fey, BUT I pretty much thought this movie was going to suck. I was pleasantly surprised because the movie, in fact, did not suck. I laughed a lot. I still don't buy Amy Poehler as a twenty-something, but that's cool. Greg Kinnear was also a nice touch.

The second movie (actually, I saw this movie first) was Priceless...



I loved this movie. A lot. Yes, Audrey Tautou needs to eat a sandwich. But once you get beyond her bones, this movie was really delightful! I laughed a lot! Like, a lot a lot. It was sweet and romantic and times, but really funny! Go see it. It's French and it translates quite nicely.

Allergy update: Still there. Still sucking. Still red-eyed and sleepy all of the time. Someday I will be cured when we kill off all of our plants and have to rely on artificial plants to keep us alive. I bet those artificial plants will be allergen free...

The Cure To Seasonal Allergies...

I am from North Texas. Most everyone in North Texas carries the lovely burden of having loads of allergies. People who are from North Texas who say they don't have allergies, have allergies. That "cold" they get twice a year, is allergies.

Well, it's that time of year again...and my allergies are killer. It started Friday when I got home from work. I ended up asleep a little after 8pm, which is odd because I remember texting some peeps and even talking to my friend Katie on the phone, but it must have been between allergy comas because I only have vague recollections of all of it. Friday night was followed my a morning of moving my dear friend Dave into his new apartment. By Saturday afternoon, I was out for the count.

And then I went to dinner and a movie with Curt Foxworth.

By the time I arrived home, I didn't have an allergy care in the world. Nope. Not kidding.

Sunday morning I awoke and the allergies were back. I went to Tucker Max rehearsal and by the end was out...again...for the count. I napped briefly and then called Curt.

I went to another dinner and another movie with Curt Foxworth.

By the time I arrived home, I didn't (again) have an allergy care in the world. Still not kidding.

This morning they are awful once again and I know, for a fact, that dinner and movie with Curt Foxworth is out of the question. So I will have to suffer through the day with itchy eyes and Zicam*. I do want to comment on the movies I saw this weekend, but I shall save that for tomorrow. I have a new task at work: payroll. And it's time to learn it...

Hold on. I'm jumping for joy.


Okay.


I'm through.


Enjoy your day.




* Side note to Dave Johnson: Really? You had to miss work today? Really? Do you know what the day will be like without you? Do you? Expect a phone call from me Mister. Just expect it.

Dear Molly,

Friday is not the day to give up coffee and drink a smoothie for breakfast because it's "healthier."

Please advise.

Sincerly,
Yourself

Cute Panda Wednesday!

Sport Stacking

There's a new competitive sport sweeping the nations elementary schools y'all. Sport Stacking.

I spent last Saturday watching kids Sport Stack. Don't you dare call it Cup Stacking, because it's not. It's Sport Stacking.

I freelance for the wonderful peeps of TP&R Casting. On Saturday, I spent the day streetcasting at the WSSA Southwest Illinois Sport Stacking Championships for an unnamed businesses new commercial ad campaign.

Here is a video to give you some visual:



I watched kids do that all day. They set up the competition in a high school gym. There was even sport stacking gear for sale. My favorite was a pair of sweatpants that read "Sport Stackers Kick Butt" on the butt of course.

At first I thought this was a pretty odd sport. And really, when I give it some thought, I can't help but think this game was invented by some drunk frat boyz sitting around one night, bored and drunk. They grew up, became elementary school gym teachers, and voila: one gym unit down, thirty to go.

I watched the opening processional and realized one thing. Sport Stacking is a sport that anybody can do. All these kids seemed to be on the nerdier, less athletic side of things, much like I was. Even physically disabled children have a chance to be part of a team and compete. What a neat little sport!

Sport Stacking even airs on ESPN. There are solo stackers, doubles, and relay teams.

The parents were soccer moms...but for Sport Stacking.

It was a true learning experience.

That being said, I still think drunk frat boyz invented the sport. I also really want to try it...

A Little Out Of My Routine

I don't normally like to discuss things like religious beliefs or politics on my blog, because I have mine. You have yours. Whatever...

But I read something this morning that I need to applaud and say, "Way to go you."

This was on one of the websites I read every morning:

"Azariah Southworth, host of the popular Christian youth show The Remix has done something radical (at least in the Christian world).

The host of over a year and a half has come OUT of the closet! As a homo! A gay!

Congrats on coming out!!!!!

Amen, we say. aMEN.

Southworth says, “This has been a long time coming. I’m in a place where I’m at peace with my faith, friends, family and more importantly myself. I know this will end my career in Christian television, but I must now live my life openly and honestly with everyone. This is my reason for doing this.”

The Remix is seen in more than 128 million homes worldwide. The show is in syndication and averages more than 200,000 viewers weekly.

Southworth has risen to fame in the Christian world and has been featured in different national publications, such as Charisma Magazine and many other religious media outlets.

Southworth adds, “I know I will be cut off from many within the Christian community, and if so, then they didn’t get the point of the life of Christ. I believe by me living my life honestly and authentically now, I am able to be a better person and a better Christian. We all know there are so many other gay people in the Christian industry; they’re just all scared. I was scared, but now I’m no longer afraid."

He probably just ruined his career in the Christian biz, but better free and happy than closed and oppressed."

That takes courage y'all. In perfect world (in my eyes) it wouldn't have to take courage, because it wouldn't matter who you loved, man, woman...whatever. But in this world it does.

Video Numero Tres!

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

This is the third post in a row with a video. I just keep coming across videos on the internet that I really enjoy. What can I say?

I resisted the urge to post several videos on here today.

This is a music video for some French Pop Star directed by Michel Gondry. Michel Gondry would direct my life if my life were to be captured on film.

Happy Tuesday.

Friday Funday

It's Friday. Treat yourself to a short film at work.


Deleted Scenes (a short film) from Ryan Gielen on Vimeo.

In Hindsight...

I should have known today was going to be rough.

When my alarm went off this morning, I honestly thought is was Saturday. I turned off my alarm and thought, "Oh, what a relief that I can roll over and go back to sleep right now."

I then thought, "Oh wait...it's Friday. Well, at least it's Friday."

I rolled over and turned on the T.V. only to discover it is, in fact, Thursday.

I made it to work alright. No problems there.

Once at work, I sat down at my desk and went through the notes people had left me. I glanced at my page-a-day calendar and saw that it was already on Thursday, which is strange because I am very anal about changing the day, on the day. Except for of course on Mondays because I have to read through Saturdays and Sundays to get to Monday. I looked down at the note I was reading and realized someone had ripped off Wednesday and written their note on the back.

This is the third or fourth time that's happened.

Do people have no respect for others belongings? Oh, no. They don't.

I wrote a note and taped it to my calendar that reads:

This is not your scrap paper. Don't use it as such!

In order to lift myself up I decided, after lunch, to buy a cookie from the adorable little bakery by my office. They have really tasty cookies and cupcakes.

I got my umbrella and walked through the pouring rain, and it was pouring. Like crazy. My pants were soaked through when I stepped inside the bakery.

"At least I'll get a cookie." I thought.

Nope. They didn't have cookies today. Only muffins. So I got a chocolate chip muffin. So not the same as a cookie.

I want to go home. It's not even one o'clock yet. Come on...

Bonnie and Clyde

Here is a story that involves my grandmother, who is my hero.

My great-grandmother and great-grandfather (Mama Dick and Daddy Dick, called that because their last name was Dickens) owned a barber shop in rural East Texas. One day my grandmother, BillE (yes it's spelled just like that) and one of her sisters Virginia, my grandmother is one of five girls, were hanging out with mom in the shop.

Out of nowhere a car pulled up and a couple of people got out with what looked like violin cases. If you're smart and keep in mind this was the 1930's, you'll figure out they weren't violins. The men cased the street and then out of the car stepped Bonnie, of Bonnie and Clyde.

She walked into my great-grandmother's shop and asked for a haircut. Of course, Mama Dick obliged. Now this was not long after their infamous massacre, so Ms. Bonnie had many scars on her head. Virginia was young and kept asking questions about the scars. Mama Dick became a little frightened that Virginia was asking too many questions so she sent my grandmother to see Virginia back to the house. My great grandmother cut Bonnie's hair. If my timeline is right, this happened just before Bonnie and Clyde were picked up for their indiscretions.



Bonnie and Clyde are so fierce, yet completely not frightening at the same time. They were small town Texas folk who killed people, and now I, like a lot of people, find them fascinating and want to watch movies about them and am entertained by their story. Isn't that a little odd? To be so fascinated by murder and the people who commit them? This coming from someone who adores the show Dexter. I just love that show.

Fun Fact

According to my nifty Schott's Almanac Calendar, on March 29, 1848 Niagara Falls stopped flowing when ice jammed the river.

I found this incredibly interesting, so I googled it.

Look at this:



Isn't that incredible? I wonder if you could've slid down it? You would've had to have worn a lot of protective gear, which might have been worth it, really....

* For some reason when I post this picture, I can't see the people standing on the ice in the top right corner. Maybe it's my computer and you can see them just fine, but if not...there is a little family standing dressed all in black in the upper right section of this picture. The woman, we'll call her "mother," is holding an umbrella. They look very 1848.

The Real Housewives Of New York City or Why I Was Late For Work This Morning

I love this show.

I don't know a lot about New York City. I doubt this is a great representation of it, seeing as how these woman make up the "elite" part of the social culture, and most people who live there don't, obviously. I have heard that woman in New York city dress really well, all the time, and where a lot of black. The show does stick true to that.

I don't know why I love this show. They are worse than the Real Housewives of Orange County. Private Schools for three year-olds, fashion week, Aston Martin's, summers in the Hamptons, the fact that their home costs even more than than they do in Newport or Irvine and they have more than one of them! Pretty crazy and mind boggling to someone like me from Rowlett, Texas.

But I love this show.

I have a feeling it's because of the Countess (the lovely woman dead center of the waifs above).

She is married to a Count which makes her a Countess. She has tons of money, set for life and still drives a Ford Explorer. Granted it's a really nice Ford Explorer, but it's a Ford. She was excited to drive her friends Ferrari, but doesn't own one herself. My mom and I both have girl crushes on her. She is bold, but nice. Elegant, but real. Sassy, but considerate.

She is a trained nurse, Fullbright scholar, and a TV host of course. Yeah, apparently she has a website...

I want to be the Countess a little bit. Maybe not with the kids and stuff, but you get the idea...

I do feel sorry for Alex (blonde, far right). Someone should tell her that you don't need status to be happy. I have no status, and I'm happy. Happiness is temporary anyway, joy lasts forever.

Oh, I'm deep sometimes.

My New Favorite Actor.

John Le Mesurier.

You can read all about him here.

I don't know that I've ever seen any of his movies, and if I have I certainly didn't know who he was at the time.

He is my favorite because of his famous last words:

"It's all been rather lovely."

It also helps that he insisted on writing his own death notice in the New York Times (before he actually died, of course):



He's my favorite.

Rest in peace Mr. Le Mesurier.

Hey y'all,

Because that's where I'll be this time tomorrow.

- Molly

The Following Is Inspired By True Events...

Before you read this, please find a copy of the song "Public Service Announcement" by Jay-Z.

INT. TREASURE ISLAND (THE GROCERY STORE..) - EVENING

Molly Wilbanks, a girl next door type twenty-something, stands in front of a large selection of orange juice. She carries one of those hand held grocery basket things and listens to her iPod. The song changes from Carrie Underwood's, "Don't Forget to Remember Me" to "Public Service Announcement" by Jay-Z.

(if you're reading, start the song here.)

As the song begins, the orange juice selection is no longer a menial choice, but an important part of her important life as an important diplomat slash international spy.

A BODYGUARD, big, tall, scary looking, but with a heart of gold, stands behind her. He surveys the grocery store for anyone who might harm his client. He may not be conspicuous, but you have to keep some sort of cover when you are an international spy living as an important diplomat.

Molly decides on the Tropicana Extra Pulp. She takes the carton and puts it in her basket.

CUT TO:

INT. TREASURE ISLAND - MOMENTS LATER

Molly walks out of the refrigerated section and towards the check-out. The bodyguard follows.

The whole time she walks, Molly watches the people around her. She notices a MAN IN A SUIT leaning against the loafs of bread behind the check out counter. The man, sees her and turns his head towards the bread as if to examine the nutritional facts, but really he is just diverting his attention so Molly doesn't notice.

Molly notices. She's good like that.

INT. TREASURE ISLAND - MOMENTS LATER

Molly and the bodyguard stand in line. An OLD WOMAN in front of her counts pennies. The CASHIER watches with boredom. The bodyguard reads an US Weekly while popping a piece of Orbitz gum into his mouth.

Molly taps her watch. It looks as though she is just checking the time, but the watch is actually a tiny computer. She searches through a database and begins to notice the faces popping up are the faces of the people around her in the grocery store. She looks up and sees the man in the suit, but this time he doesn't look away.

The man yanks a bouquet of flowers from a cart but they are not flowers at all. The flowers are hiding a large machine gun. He points them straight towards Molly. As this happens another CASHIER, PATRON, and SMALL CHILD reveal themselves to be agents as well.

Molly flinches for one moment as she realizes her lips are chapped. She applies cherry flavored Chapstick brand chapstick. She then reaches into her bag and pulls out nunchucks.

INT. TREASURE ISLAND - A SHORT MOMENT AFTER THE NUNCHUCKS HAVE BEEN DRAWN

The agents come at Molly. She fights them off one by one successfully while she wears her four inch L.A.M.B. heels (in natural/yellow)
and Burberry Trench. Agents come from all sides, including the ceiling and floor. They are in all shapes and sizes, but it doesn't phase Molly. She's fierce and indignant.

The man with the machine gun flowers comes from behind. the bodyguard still reads his US weekly. He sees the man with the machine gun and ducks under the check-out counter so he can read in peace.

INT. TREASURE ISLAND - MOMENTS LATER

Molly stands in front of the store entrance. Agents are strewn about the floor. The man with the flower gun stands in front of her.

They stare at each other.

Outside the window, a black car pulls up. Molly looks at the car and then again at the flower gun man.

MOLLY
Sorry. I have to go.

The flower gun man sees the car and throws his hands up in defeat. Molly grabs her groceries. The bodyguard still reads his US Weekly. Molly waves to him, he waves back.

EXT. TREASURE ISLAND - CONTINUOUS

Molly opens the door to the black car that we now see is a Toyota Prius (Molly is an eco-friendly international spy slash important diplomat). She gets in the passenger side door.

INT. TOYOTA PRIUS - CONTINOUS

JOHN MAYER sits in the drivers side. It's important to understand that by this point in time he has grown out of his misogyny.

JOHN MAYER

Did you get orange juice, honey?

MOLLY
Tropicana Extra Pulp.

JOHN MAYER
Let's go home where I will play music for you.

Molly smiles. They drive away.

An Open Letter To HollywoodReporter.com...

Dear HollywoodReporter.com,

Hi. How are you? Well I hope.

It seems I haven't heard from you in awhile. Why is that? Was it something I said, something I did?

I apologize in advance for not being able to buy your publication in person. See, I moved from Los Angeles several years ago and in my two most recent cities, Richardson and Chicago, the convenience of walking to the crappy newsstand on the corner that someone surely buys coke from along with their Daily Variety and Hollywood Reporter, is no longer an option. Oops, of course I take you more seriously than Variety. Forget I even mentioned her name.

Here's the thing though...

I thought by subscribing to your online version we could still be together, even though we are thousands of miles apart. And you gave! You delivered to my inbox every morning, dutifully and full of grace. And then you stopped. Just stopped. I tried resubscribing, but you proceeded to ignore my request, pop up once at the beginning of this week, and then disappear once again. What is that about?

I can't even find the place to contact customer service on you. Come on...

I want us to be together again. I want to know what's going on in your world. It's important for me.

Please, come back. Please.

Love Always,
Yours Truly,
In His Name,

Molly Wilbanks

Mom And Dad Wilbanks

These are my parents, Frank and Karen. The year is 1979. I don't know exactly where this picture was taken but '79 was the year they got hitched I believe...

My parents are two of my favorite people in the whole world.

Last week was a big week for them. My mom is a high school speech and debate coach and several of her former students are pretty successful in the world of entertainment. One of them, Mr. Ugly Betty we shall call him, is doing a documentary on high school speech tournaments. Last week was the big state competition in Texas. He and the crew were down filming my mom and her students for the big event, doing interviews with them etc...

He actually did my mom's interview at my parents house. I could tell my dad was really excited about it, but he didn't want to let on since it was my mom's big day. He hid in the back room, working on business stuff and tried not to interfere. At the end of the day the producer said they needed to come back to film my parents working in the kitchen and doing things in the backyard. My dad was excited about that.

My dad did make one joke to Mr. Ugly Betty and the gang that bothered me...

They were standing around in the kitchen and my dad said,

"If this movie goes anywhere, there could be a big rift in our family."

A chorus of, "Why?" erupted.

"Well, Karen will have been a movie before Molly."

They all laughed. When this story was being told to me, I did not laugh at this point. Not even a little bit. Once the laugher died down the producer said,

"There is one difference. This one doesn't pay."

That's when I laughed.

One thing you should know about my dad is that he has one rule for my life and career. To support my parents in a lifestyle they would like to become accustomed too.

I love you mom and dad.

On that note, who can come up with a good caption for this picture? Comments...?

Life In Stages...

My blog is back. New and improved of course, because that is what happens with everything that goes away and comes back. Or is it? That was kind of profound for a Thursday afternoon.

I was "sick" yesterday and didn't go to work. I took what Sexy 08 would call, a mental health day and it was marvelous. I was reminded of how much I like not working. I'm good at it. My mental health day was also what prompted my need to blog.

I've reached a point in my life where for the first time I have an almost real day job. I say almost real because I am still considered part-time, even though I work forty hours most weeks. I'm not used to that. I know I'm only twenty-four but up until this point, I've worked at Starbucks and a church nursery school, only for half days at most. I am one of those people who can manage my own time outside of work very well. I am very productive when I'm not working. I set schedules for myself, and for the most part keep them. It's a skill I learned while being an unemployed actress in Los Angeles. It's an important skill for a creative-type to have really.

This working thirty to forty hours each week is killing me. I have no time to manage my time. How does that happen? Originally that's why I quit blogging because I thought it was cutting into my time, managing my time. In reality, blogging is a much nicer way to fill my workday and feel creative while I enter data or hold open house meetings where I decide who is worthy of being employed at my place of business.

That's another interesting thing. I can't really talk about my work because I have signed many a confidentially agreement and I also cannot get you a job, but to think that when prospective employees come in I'm the first thing they see, makes me laugh a little bit. I'm an actress, not a business woman. This is where I should make some joke about work being my greatest acting role, but I won't because it's not. Hopefully it won't ever be.

It is beautiful outside. It may be a little chilly but the sun is out. Promise me you will find ten minutes to stand outside and enjoy the sun.