Designing Women

I love Designing Women!!!!

I mean, seriously. What's not to love? Four ladies, an Anthony, 80s everything and the South.

The list could go on.

Apparently the first season comes out on DVD today. That one will go on the Christmas list for sure.

In honor, NPR created a mad lib designed after a Julia Sugarbaker rant. I myself can still recite several of Julia's rants in my head. At least I can recite the way she recited them, if that makes sense.

This mad-lib rant has Julia ranting about The Bachlorette, which I don't watch, sorry. But it's still funny. You can create your own here.

You can read mine here:

"I would rather spend two hours sharing gaucamole with Jimmy Hoffa than watch a woman who apparently purchased her intellect at Old Navy for $0.35 chase twenty-five men with biceps made of iron and heads packed with Cheerios.

Because when future generations look upon what we have left for them, which may by then be little more than global warming and millions of non-biodegradable iPhones, I fear they will conclude that they would have welcomed bread and circuses if only they had realized the alternative was Pop Tarts and John and Kate Plus Eight.

[sits down and crosses arms, but then immediately stands back up]

And let me tell you a little something about romance: Handing out roses like you are a mascot throwing licorice whips to the assembled hooligans at the NBA Finals is not my idea of romance. Romance is a man who knows the difference between John Wesley and John Candy and who is capable of putting on a suit jacket without scratching his head as if he is connecting a sub-woofer without the instruction manual.

So do not ask yourself why I do not particularly enjoy a television show where the assembled male candidates represent romantic prospects inferior to the workers on the night shift at the Chili's in Austin, TX. Ask yourself whether, after a lifetime playing with a cultural Lego and dancing on the grave of Don Quixote, you will ever...recover...your dignity."

That was fun.

And now, here's a clip, because you know you've been dying for it:

Oh Julia. You go.

Thank You

Thank you kind sir who wrote this blog in response to an "embarrassing" video:

Click Here.

Not because I have some soft spot for Darwin or evolution, or even Creationism.

Because I love Texas. I'm from Texas. I love Texas. People are quick to judge Texas as a whole and this blogger took the time to include this little nugget:

"I’ll add here, once again, that I am not attacking Texas as a whole. That would be foolish. I am however attacking those in power who would use that power to teach that which is clearly wrong, attack that which is clearly right, and thinly disguise what they’re trying to do: overthrow the First Amendment and instate a theocracy. It’s really just that simple."

Thank you for not attacking Texas like Texas did something wrong. Texas didn't do anything. Texas is a mass of land full of all kinds of different people.

It just so happens that only the idiots make it onto TV anymore.

Well that's not all Texas is. I'm also pretty sure there are unintelligent people in most states.

I am Texas. I didn't grow up on a ranch, I don't own a pair of cowboy boots, and I don't own a gun. Even if I did, there would be nothing wrong with it. To each his own. Well, okay, maybe I don't agree with the gun thing.

I'm just saying. It would be nice every once in awhile when someone decided to attack "Texas," they would take the time to acknowledge they're really attacking the individual and not a giant massive state full of wonderful people.

'Nuff said.

Miami Baby

I haven't taken a vacation since I was 21. That was almost 5 years ago now. Before that I hadn't taken a vacation since like....7th grade? There's a question mark because I'm really not sure.

The point is I just never take a vacation. I travel a lot, but it's always for something like, being in a friend's wedding, improv festivals, the birth of my niece, Christmas etc...

Tomorrow I'm going to Miami. I am so pumped. I almost don't even know what to do with my excitement. I'm also only going to be there Friday through Monday which means I totally have room to over pack my suitcase AND bring my hair dryer. Usually I only bring exactly what's necessary clothing wise and no hair tools because I'm trying to fit a weeks worth of clothes plus gifts or books I borrowed from my mom into a tiny carry-on suitcase. This means no room for hair tools or fancy black dresses just in case I need one.

Not this time. It's only necessary for me to bring 3 days worth of clothes and 1 pair of shoes. You better believe I have enough clothes for a week and 3 pairs of shoes PLUS the hair dryer.

Heaven.

I've never been to Miami. I don't know a lot about it. This is what I do know:

1) It is the setting of a glorious and wonderful show called Dexter
2) There's lots of Cuban food
3) Celebrities like Paris Hilton like to party there on New Years
4) Dexter Morgan lives there
5) There is a lot of dancing
6) There is a beach
7) Dexter is set there

I love Dexter. I will be in the home of Dexter. No, I don't care about the parties and the yummy pork sandwiches, I care about a fictional serial killer who kills other serial killers. That's kind of sick.

Here's a picture of Miami for you to enjoy:



Everyone have a lovely weekend. I'll be vacationing.

PS to Griggs: On the latest Aphasia Podcast you had Jeannie and Brett guess whether an actor named Harry Morgan was dead or alive. I didn't know Harry Morgan was an actor. I only knew him as the Harry Morgan who is my beloved Dexter's foster father. I screamed, "Dead!!! He's Dead!!!" because he is dead on the show. I thought it was so cool that you mentioned Dexter. Then it wasn't that Harry Morgan and I was sad.

So cool.

Click here.

This is so cool to watch.

Love.

** Update **

This is equally as uncool.

Some people should justdecide to go to college and rap at frat parties to be "funny".

I said it. Not ashamed.

HARRY POTTER!!!!

On Sunday my bestie friend Rachel and I saw the Harry Potter exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry.

I love Harry Potter. I made fun of it until my sister begged me to read the books. I read them. I love them. I love all of the movies too. The Rach is an even bigger Potter fan than I am. So when she happened to come in town on opening weekend of the exhibit, well, I mean, like duh you guys.

It was a blast. The only downfall is we couldn't take pictures. So I will give you the highlights:

1) I volunteered to wear the sorting hat as did Rach. We both got our houses of choice. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, respectfully. The older man who thought he was so cool and was sure he belonged in Slytherin got Hufflepuff. Guess who's the fool now?

2) Saw an outfit warn by Emma Thompson. I almost cried. I was hoping if I could touch it some of her wise acting theories and good industry luck would transfer. I'll never know because there was a rope I couldn't get past.

3) Pulled up a mandrake. It was super cute. Also animatronic. Mandrakes aren't real, what were you thinking?

4) Learned that 8-12 year old boys are punk aass b*tches who hog the Quidditch game and when you finally get a rogue ball they let slip out of their sight, they will steal it from you and shove you back out of the way.

5) Gift shops are expensive.

6) This one is more of a warning: The tour guides, or whatever they're called, talk in really bad British accents. The museum should have hired a dialect coach. If they did hire one, they should get their money back.

7) I love Harry Potter more now than ever.

Over all it was really fun and amazing. Less interactive than I thought, but cool nonetheless. Made me wish I was as skilled as a set designer and prop master. Maybe in another life.

Since we couldn't take pictures I have included this picture of Rach and I and what are faces probably looked like at every moment of the exhibit:

Pure joy and fun.

Also, here's the trailer for the new movie:



Who's in for a midnight showing?

I am.

Also who's in, in 2010?

I am.