Retirement.

Hi there. Long story short:

I switched positions at my work. This was an unexpected happening but also an answered prayer. My life is much less stressful. It's given me a chance to actually work on things I need to get done and have the emotional freedom to do them all well.

That being said, I have been super busy outside of work getting things in order at mah home, acting stuff, writing stuff, improv stuff, you name it. This is leaving me very little time to blog. It also doesn't help that my new position at work leaves me with no internet access. I don't even have time to read the ridiculous amount of blogs I subscribe to on my Google reader or even check Facebook that much (probably a good thing).

So I'm done for awhile.

Maybe I'll come back. Maybe with a new blog. Maybe not. We'll see.

Au Revoir for now!

Making It Work

I put peddle to metal and got the main walls finished, done, painted, FINITE today. I then took it one step further and organized two bookshelves, swept, added more junk to the pile of "why am I still holding on to this" and just kicked some all around condio booty. Not finished, but did good.

I'm real proud of myself.

It was difficult. It's difficult to paint walls when there isn't a place to move furniture to so it's out of the way. I did a lot of creative gymnastics to get everything accomplished. It's also difficult to leave of pile of "why am I still holding on to this" crap in a corner, when that corner needs to be multi-purposed for actual everyday use. In the words of my most favoritist of TV personalities, "make it work."



Hi Tim.

That's the look he gets right before he says those beautiful words.

It's true though. We all gotta make it work. Personally, things are not ideal a lot of the time. I'm an actor. I would like to be paid to be on a hit TV show and make movies on my Summer breaks, and someday only make movies and write them and be able to take actual vacations to Hawaii or London or Paris or Prague.

But, that's not my current situation. So I make it work. Right now it's by pouring most of my frustrated energy into having fun with my condio. Don't ask me what I'll do when I finish all my condio projects. Cause...I don't know where I'll be able to vent frustrations in a productive manner after this.

So for now....turn up this jam and dance.

Too much candy...

I'm munching on used to be melted, now solidified again, Halloween candy. I need to stop. I can't stop eating it and I can't stop staring at this living room:

(apartmenttherapy - Keely's Parisian Chic VOTE 4 it!)

I love it. I'm obsessed with it. I've wanted a black wall forever. I keep listening to people tell me a shouldn't paint a wall black, "it will be so depressing." Too bad so sad friends. I'm finally gonna do it.

Kombuchwhat?

I've been drinking the GT's Kombucha lately. Now that it's back at the Whole Foods that is.

I saw people drinking it before. People like Bethenny Frankel (you watch it, don't lie), my friend Jillian, Lincoln Park stroller moms who don't actually have a stroller their nanny does that, you know...all those people.

Then the drink was pulled from shelves for not being honest about the tiny minuscule amount of alcohol in it. I mean, the label did say it was "fermented" so really, what did people think that meant?

Anyway, it's back on the shelves and I obliged. I obliged several times. I really like it. It makes me feel good inside.

Problem: it's pricey. It's like buying a vente latte every morning. So I don't. I can maybe MAYBE buy one a week. Also, it does make me burp. But not near as much as I thought. It actually just made me feel a little jittery and really clean. Sounds weird, but it's true.

Part of me feels like this is one of those things that rich waspy people do. That it's not really healthy for me etc, but the label says it's healthy. So I believe it. I'm not a Kombucha expert. I assume GT (the brand) is so they know more than I do on the subject. If the Russian/Chinese/Japanese cultures of the world have sung it's praises for hundreds of years, why can't I sing along with them?

Bottoms up!

Ladies...

And if that's not enough for you...



And you guys, I don't even think she was actually in Germany when she filmed this! She's amazing!!

Breeeeeathe

(evajuliet)

I love this print. It looks kind of manly, like it would be hung in a barbershop. It's also very girly to me because I consider myself girly and I am very attracted to art prints with words. I have several prints I've ordered that include sayings or words.

Side note, my great grandpa owned a barber shop. Holla.

Life!Life!Life!

artwork by Jandy

Look at that sweeet piece of art. John made this for me for my birthday and put it in a frame. He made it in Excel. EXCEL! The man is a pixel art genius. The coin count at the top is our anniversary. He's a neat boyfriend. Perhaps I should keep him.

This week I'm pushing my organizing and cleaning and painting of the condio. Believe it or not, I'm still not done painting. Probably because I haven't been that organized about much lately. I'm getting better. I read the blog Apartment Therapy as much as I can (it's amazing, read it). The guy who came up with the blog/runs the blog/owns the blog, wrote this book:


I started it a long time ago, but only got past the first two chapters. I'm determined to finish it. At the beginning of the book he tells this story about a guy who couldn't get his life or work together after a break-up and his home in turn was a disaster. He got his home together and not only did his emotions begin to heal, but he got tons of work coming his way.

I'm not saying that getting my condio in full working order as a place that reflects my personal style and taste will get me acting jobs and I'm not going through a break-up. I would however like to come home, throw my purse on the couch and not have to stare at a wall with five paint colors on it and a bag of clothes that needs to be taken to Salvation Army like yesterday.

Birthday Week has ended.

I am exhausted, motivated, many pounds heavier (thank you multiple birthday dinners), and also really thirsty.

I'm not thrilled to be beginning this week. I'm REALLY FREAKING HOMESICK.

It's insane. It's bad. I'm sad. I want my mom and my dad and Texas. Like, yesterday.

I promise to make this the last time I whine about being so homesick lately. I'll never get past it if I keep talking about it so much.

On that note, enjoy these lovely musical sounds.



Nighty night y'all. Rest up so we can party next weekend all over again...for some reason I'll make up halfway through the week.

Happy Birthday to Yours Truly

(paisleybeetle)

It's mah birthday, pop the champagne.

Posts will NOT be daily because I'm celebrating.

Yipeeeeee!

Dream No More

Growing up I watched lots of old TV shows thanks to my dad. One of my favorites was Get Smart.

I had this secret dream that when I got older I would play Agent 99 in the movie remake of Get Smart. I would take my dad to the premiere and Don Adams would be there and I would introduce him to my dad.

Thanks Anne Hathaway for being a dream crusher.

Thanks.

From the bottom of my heart.

Thanks.

Yes, I know that Don Adams passed away before the remake came out. This is all Anne Hathaway's fault, regardless.

It's Birthday Week Y'all

As I mentioned yesterday, the beginning of this week is rather hectic for me. It's all good. Just lots of lines to memorize and then promptly execute.

I felt a little thrown off yesterday because it was damn warm. I didn't grow up with a real fall. I grew up in Texas and moved to Southern California shortly after high school so fall was not part of my vocab. HOWEVER, my body needs the change. It needs the cooler weather, the leaves changing, the crisp smell in the air. I need the weather to change and inspire me to make changes.

Cheesy. Yes. True. Also yes.

This week is also pretty exciting because it's my birthday week. This Thursday I get older. Pretty exciting that I've made it another year.

I read this post on Habitually Chic recently and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy in inside. This quote also made me proud to be an October baby:

"There is no season when such pleasant and sunny spots may be lighted on, and produce so pleasant an effect on the feelings, as now in October." - Nathaniel Hawthorne


Ah, wouldn't it be grand to be sitting right there all day reading a book? Oh well. Let the day begin and let me be oh so happy about it. After I finish my coffee. And eat something. And take a shower. And memorize some lines. And pay some bills. And well...you get the idea.

(P.S. Blogger is once again the stupidest thing ever. It won't let me NOT type in italics right now. Even if I type this elsewhere and paste it, it switches it to italics. I HATE BLOGGER. I even went into Edit HTML and took out the part that is making it italic. IT'S STILL FREAKIN' ITALIC.)

Moving and Shaking

For me the first few days of this week are PACKED. I'll officially be running at full speed. This song gives me that drive. I hear it and I feel like I have to move in fast motion.



I wish there was an official music video for this song. Janelle Monae is amazing, and her videos are AWESOME. I just watched the one for Cold War:



Beautiful.

Two songs for this Sunday? Y'all are lucky.

Pumpkins and More Pumpkins!

There is pumpkin everywhere.

There was pumpkin in my last post.

I'm getting excited because it's the time of year for a Molly tradition: Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cake.

It's like the best pumpkin pie you'll ever have. In fact, if you don't like pumpkin pie you'll like this. I promise. I know people who can vouch for that statement.

Here's Paula's famous recipe:

Ingredients:

Cake:

• 1 (18 1/4-ounce) package yellow cake mix
• 1 egg
• 8 tablespoons butter, melted

Filling:

• 1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1 (15-ounce) can pumpkin
• 3 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 8 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1 (16-ounce) box powdered sugar
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon nutmeg

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Combine the cake mix, egg, and butter and mix well with an electric mixer. Pat the mixture into the bottom of a lightly greased 13 by 9-inch baking pan.

To make the filling: In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese and pumpkin until smooth. Add the eggs, vanilla, and butter, and beat together. Next, add the powdered sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and mix well. Spread pumpkin mixture over cake batter and bake for 40 to 50 minutes. Make sure not to overbake as the center should be a little gooey.

Serve with fresh whipped cream.

recipe courtesy of paula deen.

This is best the next morning, fresh out of the refridgerator with a giant cup of coffee and whipped cream stirred together. Just sayin...

Texas, My Texas

It's no secret that I'm a Texan and proud of it. Texas is amazing. If you've never been, you're losing out.

I'm SUPER homesick right now. The last time I was able to go home was May. I won't be going home until December. That is an eternity to me.

One of my dearest friends was married around Halloween a few years ago. I spent the day after her wedding carving pumpkins with her and her husband. Guess what I carved:


No, not the smiley face. The Texas. My lopsided little Texas.

Texas I miss you! My heart is with you always.

That's all.

Green Tea

My grandmother is the reason I drink coffee. She fed it to me as a wee child. Recently during a phone call with her she said she has switched to green tea in the morning because it's not as harsh.

This morning I also decided to try green tea instead of coffee. My green tea is from Argo, and too sweet, and very gingery. I love Argo Tea. This tea is just okay. It has ginger pieces in it. Now that I'm down to the bottom of the cup I keep taking big sips with ginger pieces in it that feel super strange in mah mouth.

The main part though, I'm definitely not awake and I've finished the whole cup. Argh-ooooo!

Oh You Silly

Sometimes when I read the Red Eye, I have the urge to find some Silly Putty, press it against the paper, hold it up to a mirror and then read it.

It might the Red Eye more interesting OR more factual.

Feel The Power

I like using power tools. I like being handy. Growing up I would watch Bob Vila with my dad. Bob Vila is the sh*t y'all.

I don't own any power tools. I have dreams of renting tile saws, circular saws, staple guns, things I have absolutely no need for at this point.

Actually that's not entirely true. I would like to make extra money by restoring old gross flea market furniture and selling it on Craigslist and Ebay to people who have too much money to burn. I just don't have a place in which to restore furniture nor the time and money to start figuring out how the best ways to restore furniture.

I never realized until today though that so many fun tools come in so many fun colors:




Maybe someday I'll be a regular girly Bob Vila, who stars on a hit one hour drama on AMC.



It's real buzzy at the beginning, but it gets better. Oh Bob...

Blahblahblah

I seemed to be in a bit of a funk this week. I don't have anything particularly exciting going on this week so maybe that's why.

I need some excitement!

At least I can just close my eyes and relive my skydive.

I have to say...sometimes when things get really bad or I'm a little down, I remember what it felt like to jump out of an airplane. Seriously, things slide into perspective real quick.



Also, saying I'm in a "funk" is a cop out. I honestly believe I have a choice in how I feel. I can choose to stay funky or just force myself to be happy. May the force be with me. And you, if you need it.

Higher Altitudes

Songs! Because it's Sunday!



This song came on my iPod today and it made me happy. So peaceful and sweet. It was pretty chilly all weekend and even though it's supposed to warm up a little this week, we all know that Fall is coming.

Jessie Baylin is a great singer/songwriter. I adore her voice. She's also, supposedly, ScarJo's bff. WHOA. Not really that big of a deal.

OH.

For those of you wondering, I in fact made an apple pie. I couldn't let the delicious fall apples pass me by. That being said I had never made an applie pie before. I opted for a caramel apple pie. I messed up my apple layering though. It turned out to mainly be a caramel pie with some apple added. Still really good. :)


I also managed to blog every day this week. I promise I won't throw the daily themes in your face anymore. They will just be the inspiration.

Enjoy the start to a new week!

Pumpkins or Apples?

Sweets! Because it's a SWEET Saturday!

I found a delicious sounding recipe for Pumpkin Cupcakes:


Ingredients

Makes 18

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon coarse salt
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1 cup packed light-brown sugar
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted and cooled
• 4 large eggs, lightly beaten
• 1 can (15 ounces) pumpkin puree

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line cupcake pans with paper liners; set aside. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and allspice; set aside.
2. In a large bowl, whisk together, brown sugar, granulated sugar, butter, and eggs. Add dry ingredients, and whisk until smooth. Whisk in pumpkin puree.
3. Divide batter evenly among liners, filling each about halfway. Bake until tops spring back when touched, and a cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean, 20 to 25 minutes, rotating pans once if needed. Transfer to a wire rack; let cool completely.

Thank you Martha.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to use a regular cream cheese icing or this yummy maple sounding icing, thank you Ina.

Now that I'm home and making an ingredient list I'm suddenly feeling guilty. Apples are still in season. I should probably make something with yummy tasty delicious apples. They don't always taste this good. But apple cupcakes don't sound as appetizing you know? I could make an apple pie...hmmm...wait a sec....

AHHHH!

I'll let you know what I decide.

That FACE!

Friday is all about what makes the heart sing.

This little guy basically has my whole heart. At least the part that his big sister doesn't have.


Mr. Gavin, my nephew in case you haven't heard me sing his name a million times a day, is knocking on 6 months now. I've only gotten to see him for one short trip since he was born. Gah, look at that old man face and tell me you don't love it? I DARE you.

Sometimes I think that I am missing something and that I shouldn't be here anymore and I should be where my little niece and nephew and the rest of my family are.

Then I remember how ticked off they would all be at me if I gave up pursuing my dreams to spend more time with them. They wouldn't spend time with anymore and it would defeat the whole purpose.

Besides, I'm supposed to be working toward supporting my parents in a "lifestyle they would like to become accustomed too." Those are my dads words.

I also want to be the kick-ass aunt who makes and buys kick-ass Christmas presents.

Cheers!

I'm thirstday. Yeah, I meant it that way.

I like having cocktails. I think it's fun and makes me feel like a cool kid. That being said, I don't like fruity girl drinks. Don't like them. I mean, every once in awhile they're okay, but I like a little manly alcoholy taste to my cocktail. Sometimes really sweet drinks just taste like sugar to me.

One of my favorites: The Manhattan.


Here's a simple recipe for one of the greats:

• Dash angostura bitters
• 2 lemon twists
• 4 ounces bourbon whisky
• 1 ounce sweet vermouth
• Ice
• 2 maraschino cherries

Pour 1 drop of bitters into each of 2 tall stemmed cocktail glasses and swirl to coat the inside of the glass. Pour any remaining bitters from the glasses. Rub the lemon peel over the rims of each glass and place inside the glass.

In a cocktail shaker, combine the bourbon, vermouth, and 6 cubes of ice. Shake well until mixed and chilled, about 30 seconds. Strain and divide the mixture between the 2 glasses. Garnish each glass with stemmed cherry and serve.

recipe from emeril lagasse

Snacks!

Wednesdays theme is to go Wayback. Wayback could mean something from 5 years ago, something from 20 years ago, something from 100 years ago.

Today's memory is all about my favorite snack. I ate a lot as a child. I did. Each morning was either 10-12 bowls of cereal or 6-8 bowls of oatmeal or cream of wheat. I was also a skinny tiny child, cause I know what you were thinking.

Whenever I cam home from school I would have what I still think is the best snack every, slices of velveeta melted on a bagel. Yuuuuummmm...


You're thinking, "that looks disgusting." My mom and I are thinking, "don't knock it til you try it."

Seriously. I bought some today so I could relive my memrees. Julia Cameron style*.

I did buy wheat bagels though. As a kid it was bad for ya white bread bagels ALL THE WAY. Gotta do what I can. Also, this is a really cheap filling meal. It's not healthy but it's cheap. Cheap is what I need nowadays.

*The Artist's Way. You're not really a writer until you've committed to that book and lived it and breathed it and beat yourself up over it. I kind of honestly believe that.

I Would Run Too

So Tuesdays theme is....

Tomboy Tuesday (CHEESE CHEESE!)

Tuesday is to celebrate men that rock or manly things that rock.

This video may not seem very "manly." Originally I had written a post about the versatility of suit jackets, but then I saw this video. The facial reactions of every man in this video are...priceless. The judge's reaction at the end, when the touching of the...the things...begins, is my favorite.


Busty Heart on Das Supertalent- by nappyxheadedxho for ONTD
Uploaded by samiam2546. - Classic TV and last night's shows, online.

Today we're going to celebrate the men in this video. Cause they made me laugh and everyone needs a good laugh now and then.

A Very Monolgue-y Monday

I have this new idea for the blog, and it gives it a theme, and it gives it some all around loveliness. I love and adore lots of things and most of them are unrelated to each other.

In my quest to blog 7 days a week, here is the deal. Steel Magnolia’s and Velveeta is getting some new shoes in the form of daily themes. I could reveal them all right now, but I’ll let you enjoy them as they make their debuts. Since today is Monday here’s a glance at Molly Monday (yes, the names are this cheesy because I like cheesy things).

Mondays will feature something awesome from my weekend, something awesome coming up this week, something awesome that happened that day, or the exact opposites: cruddy, ranty, sucky things that need a space to live for awhile.

Today’s Molly Monday features this:

I spent two and a half hours tonight taping a monologue for a casting, contest, webseries something or other. This is just a still from the vid. I’ll put the whole video up later, once I know it’s okay to do that. For now, enjoy that ugly face mug.

Monologues are a funny thing. Really, can one show an entire range of acting ability in a one minute monologue? No, no, one cannot. But apparently that is the way it is, so that’s the way we role.

I had to write an original monologue for a virtual acting showcase once. I’ve since used it in a real audition. I also booked that real audition. Nevermind that I didn’t accept the project once I read the script and realized I had to run around in my skivies for some college kids. I have standards y’all. For real. No offense college kids but I want to build my reel with things that don’t make directors think I’m interested in porn or Skinemax.

There is nothing wrong if you think porn is your calling. It’s your life. You should do what you want with it.

Also, that original monologue was inspired from my favorite short film I’ve ever written. In a nutshell it was about the ghost of Mary Kay murdering a woman for selling Avon. Very light and fun, like me.

As for the themes, I will say now I reserve the right to switch things up every once in awhile. As much as we would like life to be so simple, things happen and inspiration falls to new things. I’m going to keep it going strong most of the time but every once in awhile, I’ll throw in a loop a two.

It’s on.

P.S. I'm so TICKED off at blogger right now. I just spent an hour trying to format this stupid blog post so all the stupid text would match even though it DID match, and LOOKS like it's all the same in the preview box. Oh Blogger, Ima ticked atta you. You betta go hideaway.

Uuuuuugggghhhh.

I just discovered this beautifully tear-jerking rendition of one of my favorite beautifully tear-jerking songs.

Uuuuuugggghhh.

I'm trying to wind down on a Sunday night. I spent most of today cleaning and memorizing a monologue. Tomorrow will be much of the same with a little 6 hour workday in the middle. I want it to be Sunday night forever. Sunday nights are the best. Everyone's lazing, watching TV, taking bubble baths, digesting large delicious meals...everyday and every night should be a Sunday night.

I'm having a Dido moment.

I've been struggling to find a "theme" for my blog. I don't think my life is interesting enough and most of the blogs I read have themes like, "interior design," "celebrity gossip," or "food."

Then again, Rachel Zoe has an entire show only about her and her life. All she does on that show is work. How interesting is that...really?

Well, she does have celebrities sometimes.

Celebrities could come into my life sometimes.

You don't know.

They could.

I've been homesick a lot lately.

This song reminds me of home.

Hey Texas, I miss you.

Also, I want real queso. Not "queso fresco" or whatever that crap is Chicago restaurants try to pass off as queso. It's not queso. Someone ship the real stuff to me. Please.

You guys, it's models.

My agency had a party. Like the kind of party wear people wear sunglasses inside and your name has to be on "the list" party.

I had never been to one of those before. It was awesome. Also hilarious. I didn't think I was going to know anyone either, but thankfully the universe had other plans and I ran into several people I knew. Free drinks and fancy looking people who think they are badass (myself included, I bought a new "hip" outfit) equals, greatness.

There was also a fashion show. This was the end of the fashion show.

You guys, I've been to a fashion show. You know. No big deal or anything.

I'M JUST WINNING RIGHT NOW.

That's all.

Yep. Uh-huh. Yes.

One should always ask oneself if they care about what is going on around them. If one finds oneself not caring, one should proceed to walk away. Even if it is just to grab a Pumpkin Spice Latte and are forced to return once that transaction has taken place. It will be worth it.

The Year of Molly.

This is a picture of me taken somewhere between 13,000-14,000 feet above the earth.

This is me conquering the world.

Just a little inspiration for the year.

Now, how bout I not blog for forever?

Recently (meaning the beginning of August) I declared this year (August 2010-August 2011) the Year of Molly. I have lots of goals, back-up goals, just really all around goals that I intend on conquering this year.

This is part of my very first Chicago apartment. It's actually the only other apartment I've lived in here, until my fabulous new condio. It was Christmastime: lights around the window and my little silver and white Christmas tree candles (teeny tiny, on the table).

I found a few pictures of my first apartment and noticed how organized everything was. Everything had a place. The pictures were hung, the shelves were arranged, everything had a home in mah home.

After perusing these photos for awhile I looked up and saw my current living situation:

An empty desk that needs to be taken to Good Will, piles of paint supplies, piles of paperwork and office supplies, dirty dishes, a bag of clothes for Good Will, a couple of half painted walls, art prints still in mailing tubes and empty shelves. I became immediately disgusted with myself and began an organizing spree.

I hope it lasts a loooooooooooooong time.

We shall see...

I picked this photo at random from my computer. Yes that's me. You've now seen me at my worst. I had just gotten my wisdom teeth out and was instructed to gnaw on tea bags.

Those are not fangs, they are the strings from the tea bags.

That is not blood, I was gnawing on Passion tea bags from the Bucks.

Meet my boyfriend John. Isn't he cute? So cute he needs to be eaten.

This is the view from my "desk." My "desk" is really my breakfast bar.

I'm taking a lot of time off from day-job work this month to work on real life work: writing, music, agenting (securing additional), and other acting pursuits. It's nice to focus on the things I care about in life more.

That being said, this morning I have accomplished the following:

1) Slept in.
2) Coffee
3) Cleaned the kitchen
4) Uploaded an episode of Friday Night Lights to my iPod for viewing at the gym
5) Watched an episode of For Rent, Bethenny Getting Married, and The Glades
6) Read some blogs
7) Sent e-mail to agent
8) Blogged

Only 1 of these things accomplishes the real reason I have today off. I'll get to the rest though. I did only wake up 2 hours ago. I also did several of these at the same time. Multi-tasking is something I do well and far too often.

A picture not from my phone!

Miami. John, a couple friend, and I went there last year. On the last day, John and I snuck into a fancy hotel pool and stared at trees. These were the trees.

Miami is great. Miami is expensive. Miami should probably be saved for when I am rich.

Sweeter Than Sugar Pie

This is picture text from my momma. That's my dad (aka: Grandpa) hanging with Lyndie and Gavin.

I. Heart. This. Picture.

That's all.

Times Square

I was inspired to partake in this little idea for the month of August. I apologize that my pics will be cell phone pics. My camera is unusable at the mo and has been for some time.

Let's here it for Times Square!

I had never been there at night, so this past weekend while visiting I walked there at 2am with a friend. I almost find it more overwhelming during the day than at night. The first time I ever visited I was in shock that lights could be so bright during daylight hours. At night I sort of expected it I guess. Still crazy and still too ridiculous.

My friend Dan who I was walking with works in advertising. He had never been to Times Square before. I have to admit, hearing him talk about the advertising business and relating it to Times Square gave me a whole new perspective.

Also, I've come to the conclusion I don't really desire to have my face on any lighty lighted billboard in Times Square. So for those of you working on my billboard, you can stop. We'll save it for somewhere else. Maybe Miami? We'll discuss soon, promise.

FALSE.

No one finds out about an audition two weeks prior to the date.

Sorry I've been absent. Went to Texas. I don't do ANYTHING while I'm in Texas except eat and watch trashy television. Shut your mouth and stop the protesting. I do not ONLY eat and watch trashy television on a regular basis. Sometimes I go to auditions (I get 5-24 hours notice) and wake up early to sit at a desk...and eat while I watch trashy television.

Fireflies

Why does a cheesy emo-ey top 40 hit make me smile so much?

Even Ke$ha does it these days. She’s not emo but for sure not “credible.”

I wish that I was joking, but I’m not.

Something about the simplicity of the chords, the lyrics that don’t apply at all to my life, and the weird hope you can feel the performer emitting. Their little hope that says, “I’m probably not the best musician, I may not really be able to sing even. You don’t know that because of Pro-tools and my producer over-producing my mix. Regardless, I get to do something fun for a living! Help me do that! Come see me live and buy a t-shirt because I really don’t make that much money off of record sales!”

I like these things right now.

Fireflies by Owl City, Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz and Luda(cris), Your Love Is My Drug by Ke$ha, California Girls by Katy Perry....

I’m a regular 16 year old suburban girl so happy for Summer, but secretly waiting for school to start so I can reinvent myself yet another year in a row.

Ahhhh, the joys of being a 16 year old....

I’m not ashamed to admit my bad music taste. I have it sometimes. I also have very good taste. The bad taste passes in phases. The good taste is always there. Like Dave Brubeck. Dave Brubeck is always in good taste in my book.

Not to bring it down BUT:

Lady Gaga does not feel like these other pop sensations to me. She feels...kind of...dirty. Like the mean girl on the playground who stands by the one good climbing rope so nobody else can use it. She doesn’t use it either. She just stands there. So no one else can use it.

You might be thinking Ke$ha feels this way too. She doesn’t. She doesn’t know what she’s getting herself into yet. She’s still “green.” Give a year and another album or two and she’ll be hot on the Gaga’s heels to mean girl territory. Until then, your love is my drug.



Don't actually watch this video. It's creepy. Press play and switch back to the other blog you were reading.

The Drama Of No Drama

I'm not a drama person. I'm just not. I will gossip with the best of them, cry when my DVR cuts off the ends of my shows, and throw my mascara during once-a-month fits of rage. But as far as getting along with others, I'm drama free. I don't like it and don't have time for it.

I've had drama friends. We all have. You know the ones. You're out, having a nice time, and all of sudden they are mad at someone else in the group for talking to someone else who they actually like but because they are "drama friends" and there are margarita's around, it suddenly becomes the knock down drama drag out of the year. Every night you're out with this person. I avoid friends like these.

The people you choose to be friends with are easy to manage though. You've chosen them. You either accept their flaws as they accept yours and grow buds of friendy-friend petals OR you realize the flaws are too great and you're at a point in your own life where your flaws are so great you can't deal with their great flaws.

The hard thing comes when the drama comes from people you can't choose. You might be thinking: family. I'm thinking: co-workers. I'm very fortunate to have a family that is drama-free. We just don't have deep-seated drams. I'm lucky that way and I count my blessings everyday.

Co-workers, corporate America, Hell, whatever you want to refer to it as, it's not your choice. For example, take my situation. I'm an actor, but not a well-paid one majority of the time. Therefore, I work in le office. I choose to work in an office because retail does not offer flexible schedules and being waiter means I have to watch every episode of Top Chef much later than the original air date and time. I want it to be my CHOICE to watch shows days later, not a necessity.

Enter my slice of the corporate pie.

I listen and hear about this drama, that drama, this person, that person, oh guess what so and so did, ALL DAY. All day. Sometimes, I am pulled into the drama because it involves some sort of aspect of my job. It's like these people don't have lives. They hate their jobs just as much as they hate everything outside of their job. Everything is a big deal and every problem has a solution that causes a greater problem and no solution. I wish that I could go into detail but I can't right here.

Several years ago (not long after I began at this gem of pie piece) I made a pact with myself to not care and not get involved. So I don't.

Not getting involved and not caring causes way too much drams you guys.

I get so worked up and upset about trying not to care, hearing things I don't care about and being dragged into something I have nothing to do with that my shoulders and back are tense and I can't enjoy my lunch breaks for fear of what drama I will have to avoid when I walk back into the building.

I am actor. I should be going to work, coming home and everything is roses, except for occasionally when sh*t happens and something isn't roses for a day or two.

Instead, I come to work, handle way too much responsibility (whole other blog post there) and drama, come home, spend two hours trying to un-tense my shoulders and brain, only to realize it's time to sleep before the next wave of nightmarish Hell begins.

Avoiding things is not healthy but getting involved and feeding unnecessary drama is also not healthy.

The avoiding drama is killing me. Maybe literally.

My Little Secret

I have this thing. The majority of people in my life right now don't know this about me.
I only ever want to hang out in places that would play St. Germain or any music from the Saint Germain Des Pres Cafe series of discs. These two things are only related by similar names, they are not the same.

Example:



This is a live version of St. Germain performing his song Sure Thing.

That. That's the only kind of place I want to hang out.

So that kind of makes me a nu-jazz, house, weirdo.

I don't care.

Chances are if you see me hanging in a Wrigleyville bar, I am thinking:

There's not enough white decor.

There are not enough candles.

I do not like sports that much (anymore).

If I order a martini I will be judged.

They probably don't even have champagne.

I want to be wearing heels and cute shiny black or cream colored dress.

There is no dance floor. How can I create a dance floore?

Oh we're leaving now. Well, all the better then.


I promise I'm not a snob. I just know what I like.

Rainy Day...

Tascha

It's rainy. I enjoy rain so much. Not only is it rainy but when I walked out of my home this morning the sky was beautifully black and gray. The stormy kind of rain is my absolute favorite. Especially right now because it's reflecting my inner turmoil. Turmoil meaning I'm trying to get out of a rock and a rockier place with my job.

Enter my Etsy search. I really like Etsy. It's awesome and I've purchased several awesome things through there, all art prints. My budget is tight these days so since I can't purchase these items myself, I'll put them here in hopes that one of the 3 people who read this might purchase them instead.
blancucha


michelemaule

groundwork

emilyjanowiak

Enjoy this rainy Wednesday.

My Long Distance Lover

photo from this adorable Etsy shop.

I often joke that I have a long distance relationship. His name is New York City. We hardly see each other, but our bond is so strong there is no reason to break up just yet. Besides, we really should live in the same place before we decide this relationship isn't worth pursuing anymore.

I don't know what it is about him that made me fall in love so hard.

The first time we met was by a series of events that some might call a disaster but I call fate. I was flying from Los Angeles, California to Tirana, Albania (final destination was Erseke, but couldn't fly there, had to take a bus). My crew and I were to change planes in Newark, NJ. But alas, we were delayed due to weather. Even though we made it on time for our next flight, that flight was international AND another airline. They would not let us through security or check our bags since it was less than an hour before the plane was due to depart. There was lots of yelling (I mean, a lot) and some manipulating until finally Continental provided us a hotel and some food vouchers*.

Our new flight did not leave until 9pm the next night. What is a group of ladies to do when stuck in Newark, NJ for 24 hours? Not hang out in Newark, that's for sure. The woman in charge of missions at our church (this was a church trip) told us to go have fun in New York City for the day.

We did.

I've never been the same since. Isn't it amazing how when you love hits you everything is just right in the world? There's no bad, smells or honey and roses, and my waist felt 2 inches smaller?

Just great.

I'm going back for the Del Close Marathon in July. I can't wait.

I'm coming soon.


*This is only the beginning of what would later be referred to as the Travelpocalypse/Greatest Trip of My Life. Ask me and I will tell you all about it sometime.

Happy Birthday Grandmother!

Today is my grandmothers 85th birthday.

Isn't she beautiful?

My grandmother, Ms. BillE Allison* mother of Karen Allison Wilbanks (that's my mom in case you hadn't gathered), is an amazing woman. She works out at Curves 3 times a week and works in her garden the rest of the time. She has a cup of coffee every morning and a crossword. She's the reason I drink coffee. She also recently decided she deserves to have cable/internet after all these years AND my mom took her for her very first manicure and pedicure. She's living the high life these days.

Going to grandmother's house as a wee one was special for several reasons:

She is super loving and caring

Bubble baths with Mr Bubble

Trips to the PigglyWiggly for treats and toys

My mom's original set of barbies, my uncle's original GI Joes, and books from my mom's
adolescence (Oh yes, I'm talking about the Five Little Pepper's Midway AND the original Nancy Drew novels)

Cuddling in bed with grandmother before sleepy time

My special coffee she made every morning: a teeny bit of actual coffee, cold milk, and sugar

Her adorable two-room house on the farm

Picking strawberries from her strawberry field

Eating the strawberries after they had been in the freezer for a few days.

I still enjoy going to grandmother's in the morning for a cup of coffee, no milk or sugar these days though. Now that I'm older she tells the most wonderful stories from her childhood and adulthood. I love hearing her stories. I wish that I could be in Texas more often in order to hear them all the time. She does have a cell phone now which helps.

My grandmother was 1 of 5 sisters. Unbelievable. All of her sisters have suffered terrible illnessess and ailments in their old age, but my grandmother, for reasons no one knows but are thankful for, is still perfectly healthy. She doesn't really try to be healthy either. I mean, she works out, now, but she doesn't cook anymore. She survives on a diet of frozen meals and the occasional dinner out on the town. Of course, if I was 85, I would probably do the same thing.

I am so lucky to still have this amazing strong and oh so stubborn woman in my life. I didn't get the lucky card when it came to number of grandparents. This woman is the only grandparent I've really ever known. My dad's parents passed away, his mom before I was born and his dad when I was a baby. My grandmother's husband passed away when my mom was 13. She never dated or remarried again. Grandmother always says that she had her one love and was lucky and blessed to have him, even if it was for a shorter time than most people get to spend together.

Yeah, now I'm tearing up too.

This is the same woman who once told me, "If he doesn't turn you on he's not worth your time." There. That should bring a smile through the tears.

I can't wait to give her a call and wish her happy birthday over the phone. I can't call yet though. Wednesday mornings she goes to Curves so she won't be able to answer my call. She's such a busy body that BillE.

Happy birthday grandmother! I love you!

*that is exactly how her name is spelled, upper-case E and all.

Retracted Apology

I'm not sorry anymore. I found out today that all gas, from all companies, goes to one big place and then is shipped to gas stations.

AND BP's are not necessarily owned by BP, they are franchised out.

AND this poor guy who owns this franchise is probably hurting because of all of BPs bad publicity so he needed my money (well, Zipcars money). Since it's a franchise, BP doesn't see much of the profits anyway.

I don't feel bad anymore.

I'm Sorry World

This has been bothering me so I have to put it out there. I'm not joking. I feel really bad.

I rented a ZipCar this weekend. The rule is the car has to be returned with at least 1/4 a tank of gas. I was at about a half tank and thought, "I'll be nice and fill this car up for the next person so they don't have to worry about it." I had lots of extra time and was already done with my car requiring errand. I pulled into the closest gas station to my home.

A BP.

I didn't even realize it until I had already pulled in. Other people were using it. I used it. I used BP gasoline. I feel like a punk. Seriously.

I'm sorry.

I could've gone somewhere else but I didn't know what was close by and was running a huge gamet of emotions. I have a thing for cars. I miss mine TERRIBLY and when I drive another car and have to give it back, I get really sad. I know that's weird. I'll explain sometime.

I'm sorry I am such a let down. I really am.

Ugh.

I also took the free pass for a shoreline cruise that someone left in the parking pass slot.

I like to think they left it there on purpose. Really, someone's grandma probably couldn't get on the cruise when the family arrived at the boat.

I'm sorry. I want to use it for a date with my boyfriend.

I'm sorry for everything.

Especially the BP thing. Really, that's the only thing I'm sorry for.

BurgerQuest: We Have An Almost Winner and a For Sure Loser

Today was Epic Burger. Mr. Jandy and I took to the newly opened Epic Burger by my work.

Nom noms. Twas very good.


I had a junior burger on a wheat bun. John had a double on white.

Guys, it's good. The "Epic Sauce" is a type of thousand island dressing. I smell an In 'n Out wannabe and that's no problem with me. In 'n Out truly is the greatest burger, but is not eligible for this contest since there aren't any here in Chicago*.

I really really really like the wheat bun too. It was messy. The sauce is a little thin. The junior burger was a great size. It wasn't junior at all, it was a regular burger. The double was too much meat and too much sauce. Poor John had saucy hands and went through a lot of napkins. The fries were delish. They were very similar to Five Guys. Not too thin, not too crispy, browned just right and salty.

Extra credit was awarded because they carry Dr. Pepper, but extra credit was promptly taken away because they only carried Diet Pepsi. Diet Pepsi is the worst of the diets.

Honestly, this may be my favorite burger. I don't really know. I feel like I would need to blind taste test both and see. Wheat bun = good. But Five Guys has jalapenos = double good.

Super close race. We'll call it an almost winner.

The loser: Moody's Pub. Seriously? I want to know what was happening in the world at the moment this burger was voted best in Chicago. Was there a meat shortage causing every establishment to only get horrible meat? Dry meat, dry bun (at least it was sesame seed), no flavor, fries eh. Not at all worth the trek north.

That's all for now on that.

*An In 'n Out Burger is opening 10 minutes from my parents house in Texas. I cried when I found out. Seriously. I had tears. I can't wait. It will supposedly be open by the time I go to visit in July. SHUT UP WORLD. THAT'S TOO PERFECT. WORLD, AHHHHH. YOU SCORED.